TRANSFORMATIONS AND TRANSITIONS
INDIVIDUAL COUNSELING, MARITAL THERAPY AND DIVORCE
You want to feel better.
If you knew how to change, you would have done so already. Individual therapy is an exploration of what makes you you. Your history has helped form your opinions, habits, expectations, wants and needs. You may be accidentally replicating your past or unsuccessfully fighting hard against it. Or maybe you are just working to get back what you lost. It is important to explore.
Don’t stay stuck in the past.
What you have been doing hasn’t worked. Continuing to do more of the same is likely to result in the same unfulfilling reality.
Only you can make the changes in your life needed to make things better, but feelings of depression and anxiety are often debilitating. Working together, we will help free you of this pain that has been inside you for way too long. We create solutions to immediately alleviate the feelings of hopelessness and helplessness.
Let’s make today the last day that you feel so alone.
We will examine your hurdles and uncover the patterns that continue to repeat themselves within your life and relationships. We will find alternatives that will help you transform more and more each day.
It is possible to feel better, but you do need to take the first step.
Shifting Your Perspective
We expect our partner to understand us.
This is not always possible. We marry for love but don’t always have the tools to deal with the differences that arise over time. Fighting, poor communication, and difference in our intimacy needs. These can lead to loneliness or betrayal.
It can get better.
There is a science to our styles of attachment and research-based interventions that are specifically targeted to help couples make positive changes in their relationship.
Working with a therapist, both together and individually, you will find ways to have productive conversations about your needs and wants within the relationship and family.
Learn to fight fair.
There are two different types of conflict.
Solvable conflicts have resolution; you will learn how to compromise. Perpetual issues, recognizable as that same fight you have again and again, need you to make space for different perspectives.
You will be given the tools to work through both.
Betrayal doesn’t need to be the end of the relationship. The importance is learning why there was space in the relationship to allow for another person and how to help your partner heal. This requires patience and understanding. There is evidence that sometimes being shaken to your core, either by your own behavior or by your partner’s choices, can make a relationship stronger.
Healing is possible.
“Success in marriage depends on being able, when you get over being in love, to really love.”
You have tried everything; it’s time to make a change.
In counseling, you learned to communicate better, but one or both of you still decided that you needed to move on. Maybe there just aren’t enough common interests between you. Perhaps the love isn’t there. Regardless, you know it is time to divorce.
Your divorce can be different.
It doesn’t need to be ugly. The reality is that one out of two families will be effected by divorce. Traditional divorce litigation was designed to end a . business partnership, not to transition a family. Luckily, there are other methods of legally making one household into two.
Mediation and Collaborative Law offer different ways to get your divorce finalized more peacefully and less expensively.
You stay in control.
You and your spouse will make the determinations about the division of your family’s finances and parenting responsibilities. There is no reason the state should tell you how to raise your children just because you are going to co-parent from two different household. But in order to keep control, you need to go to the courthouse with an agreed-upon Marital Settlement Agreement and Parenting Plan.
Working together and cooperation can be hard. The mediator, an expert at negotiation and family dynamics, will guide you to make the hard decisions yourselves - not leave it up to the judge.
Walking you through each step.
In a divorce, you are asked to make the most important choices at when you are in your most vulnerable state. From the initial stages of the separation through the final hearing, we will be here coaching you through some of the most important and challenging decisions of your lifetime.
We are here to help. You don’t need to do this alone.