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  • Elizabeth Stabinski

Divorce Redefined

When we hear the word divorce, we tend to think of failure.

How did we come to believe that a marriage is only considered “successful” if it lasts a lifetime? And, why do we think that a family who lives in two households needs to be worse off than a family that lives in one?

Many of us still subscribe to the idea of “til death do we part.” And yet, we are not always aware of why this ‘unconscious’ belief persists. It’s interesting to think about the fact that this phrase developed when people were expected to live for about 40 years. That means that couples only spent about 20+ years together at that time. Even more interesting is the fact that the elders in the community often arranged the union based on familial and financial needs. “Til death do we part” was written when our life-span was shorter and our marriages were arranged.

Yet, here we are in 2020. We are expecting to find a life partner in our 30s and deem the relationship a failure if it doesn’t last for over 50 years. Why our relationships don’t last for a lifetime is the musings for future blogs.

If we choose to separate and divorce, we can live “happily even after.”

No matter how difficult your situation may be, we have faith that divorcing with civility and restructuring your family is possible. We would like to suggest that a successful relationship is defined by how you treat each other when you are in love and how you leave each other when the relationship ends.

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